What's Your Love Language?

We had finally arrived in Positano after a long day of travel. 

It was late and we were tired. Our phones were dead and we couldn't figure out where our accommodation was. Problem was, we don't speak Italian and the only person we could find in the town was a local man who didn't speak a word of English. I decided to do what any great man in that situation does...speak to the local man in English anyway, but with a slight Italian accent (think Tony Montana) and use more hand gestures than usual.

It didn't work. 

In fact, we both had no idea what the other person was trying to say and just got frustrated with each other. It's funny now. Who tries to speak a language to a person who knows he just doesn't speak it?

Well, it was me this night. 

But here's the thing - that's how a lot of couples communicate with each other. Trying to demonstrate how much they love their partner, but doing it in a language their partner just doesn't understand.  

Let me explain. 

In his book, 'The Five Love Languages' Gary Chapman suggests that we each have a certain style of giving and receiving love - physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts or acts of service.

When you are trying to show love to your partner in a language they don't speak, you're essentially trying to speak English to a person who only speaks Italian. It just won't work. 

Try this - before running to your friends to explain how terrible your partner is, find out what their love language is and start talking to them more in that. Maybe they appreciate you more than you realise, they just couldn't understand what you were trying to say. 

Take the test here.