No child dreams about marrying a loser.
Why would they?
Losers are horrible to be around.
They have no confidence. They have no dreams. They take no risks. An idea of a good day to a loser is one in which they make only a few mistakes. A loser brings down the energy in the room when they enter. I do my best to avoid a loser. They're exhausting.
You don't want to marry one.
But when we're in a relationship, a lot of us act as though we do.
We highlight our partner's faults whenever we notice them. We shut down their dreams whenever they voice them. We refuse to encourage them when they fail. We laugh at them when they fall short. We do this for months, years even and then wonder why they've turned into a loser.
You need to realise your capacity to create a loser.
If you're in a long-term relationship, there's a good chance your opinion means more to your partner than anyone on the planet. Your criticisms hurt more, and your praise means more. You have a sword in your hand every time you speak. The wrong words will kill.
Be very careful when you speak.
How often do you encourage your partner? Point out what you love about them? Tell them about the strengths you see in them? Build them up when they're down? Encourage them to get back on their feet when they fail? Should you be doing it more?
It won't take long for them to notice.
It won't take them long to dream bigger.
To try again.
To take steps towards being a winner.
And you want to be married to a winner.
Maybe your partner is a winner.
Maybe you just haven't been paying attention.