It's time to stop talking

Most arguments aren't effective because our goal is usually to be heard, rather than to understand.

When the person we're arguing with does finally speak, our emotions ensure we only respond to what we think we've heard rather than what they're actually saying. 

Next time you're in an argument, here's a great way to shock the person you're doing it with. 

Before you speak, listen. 

Before you respond, make sure you understand. 

When those two bases are covered, you're in a pretty good position to solve the actual problem. 

Not just the thing you thought it was.